four months.

Tomorrow Henry will be four months old. Something magical has happened during this fourth month: mainly- sleep. Finally he is in the mood to sleep! This has in effect opened up a veritable kingdom of other magical things- he has developed an amazing little personality, he is able to communicate likes and dislikes- i.e. he reaches out for me now when he wants to be picked up; he can push me away when he is full. Today he reached out to pet Nico! He is finally sleeping in his crib, and follows pretty much the same pattern each night. This helps me to stay alot more sane. He still doesn't sleep alll the way through the night, but those four times I get up he usually will go right back to sleep. It seemed so touch and go those first few months, with Henry not sleeping more than two hours at a time, wanting to latch on to my breasts every hour. It was so frustrating when he would wake up wide eyed and ready to play- it would take atleast an hour to get him to go back to sleep. That basically left me with a good three hours sleep if I was lucky. This is not to say that Henry wasn't or isn't an awesome baby- he is. The beginning was just- how shall I say?- challenging, that's all. Thank god for both sets of parents living nearby and giving us all of the support we needed- and more. One day my mom stopped by and asked about an errand I needed to run later in the afternoon. I just burst into tears and said I was so tired there was no way I could go- because I didn't even feel safe getting behind the wheel and out on the road. She swiftly cancelled her appointments for the day and ordered me to take a nap. Then there was Julie- she has a young son, so she's been through it all. Her wisdom was priceless- she shared an anecdote with me in the very beginning that I found my self repeating- for the comfort to know that I would get through it- and be another possibly cool lady of leisure, rocking out to MIA on the way to the zoo. What is it with the first three months? When I was pregnant all I did was puke for the first three months... then it was great during the fourth month, like clockwork.
Tonight I was rocking Henry to sleep- he had his arms wrapped around me and he nestled his head in- actually it was more like a smush- he smushed his head in between my cheek and my shoulder. As I felt his breath all warm against my neck, there in the dark, with the sound of his mobile a lovely lullaby, I cried. Having him is the sweetest most wonderful thing in the world. happy four months, baby!